November 25, 2018
I started writing the novels for the Mahavma Project (the series in the world of Ahzhvii), 2 years ago. I finished a novel, we had readers check it out, and this led to me wanting to go back to the foundations. After doubling the size of the encyclopedia of the world, Cis and I changed our minds about the novel order. This would make the first novel I wrote more likely to be the 5th or 7th novel to come out. So, I wrote another novel (which will be the first novel).
Before I could even get this novel to my sister for beautification, I realized that we had to finish the dictionary…and that led to looking at finishing all the foundation books so the novels could all be cohesive and ‘right’ with their world.
There are six planned foundation books, so this is no small project. They include: the dictionary, encyclopedia, atlas, Pevoong (which is a book of Ahzhvii science), Darrjad (which is a book of all the “wisdom keeper” species on Ahzhvii), and the book of behavior (how to live outside of monster/victim cycle, and in connection with all the life around you), which is based on Cis and my life’s work.
We finished the dictionary, and then started on the behavior book. Despite the fact that I’ve written lots and lots of materials for this, we found that it isn’t easy to put this together the way we want to, at all! I’m also having trouble motivating myself to do it, because I’ve been writing about this stuff for 25 years and I feel really complete with this experience. Cis, however, is having some fun with it, and I’m leaving all my information in her capable hands. After all, she has a great deal of knowledge to add to it. Once she has it all laid out, then we’ll go through it together.
This means that I can work on something else, theoretically. I’ve spent a good deal of time working on the sorting project we’ve been doing (Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up). This has taken much longer than anticipated. The first things on the list were things that I could sort on my own (because it only affected, or belonged to me). This was accomplished in a few weeks. The next several areas of sorting needed to be done with other family members. We managed a few things, but with the discarding of things that we’d like to sell, it’s far more difficult to accomplish the goals in a timely fashion. I’m really hoping we can get it all finished by the end of the year.
Besides the tidying up, and the work on the behavior book, and my job seeing clients, and taking care of my household, and my own being, Cis and I have decided we’d like to start a class, which will based on the behavior book. This is more motivation for getting the book finished, and a great way to put the book into practical application. It’s also one more project to take on.
All these projects are so needed, and wonderful in their ways, and having so many is sometimes very de-motivating because it feels like I can’t get anything done – nothing reaches the end goal.
I often feel like I’m taking a long journey, and while I can look back and see that progress is happening, the end goal is still so far out of reach that I just want to cry.
I want to spend time thinking about my stories, and how I want to tell them. I want to get in touch with my characters, and the world of Ahzhvii. I want to feel the depth of the tribes that live there, and their relationships with other. I want to build this world, and have my heart and mind enveloped by its beauty and culture, and begin to make it real for me, and consequently for my readers.
This week, I’ve given myself permission to work on the first novel. I was so excited to write some story, and I’ve spent the last several days setting up the tribes, and the characters. As much as I would like to just write, even here there are foundations that I must set up first. This project (even a single novel), isn’t small, and it isn’t something that can be done based on how I feel at the moment.
Even though I haven’t written any new story yet, I feel good just knowing that I’m working on this particular novel. It’s like getting to finally have some dessert. Allowing myself to spend more time doing the thing I really want to do, and not forcing myself to finish the things that are weighing on me, has really helped me to feel lighter. I feel like my vacation time has been rejuvenating, and I’m actually feeling good about getting back to work.
Sometimes, we need to give ourselves permission to ‘play’ so that work can be more easily accomplished. I’ve always known this, and I got to learn it again, in a new way. I need to not only have time that I’m not working, I also need to give myself time to work on the fun stuff, so I can stay motivated to work on the foundation/tedious stuff.
Take good care of you!